My year of celibacy: A love affair with myself (56)



And then the inevitable happens.

A single man becomes your neighbor, and he has no hang-ups. He opens the door for you without his shirt and based on the scuffle shortly before he opened the door you realize that you should count yourself very lucky that he has pants on at all, all this is confirmed by the fact that they are the wrong way around and clearly put on hurriedly.

And you can’t help but scan and evaluate, more importantly, you can’t help to think how long it’s been….

The emotional inner war that erupts even surprise you, but no, you are a woman with principles, that made a decision to make good decisions and you’ve passed the two-year mark of your ‘good decisions’ and proud of it.

He comes over for coffee (and no it is not a date, remember I don’t go on dates, not even on coffee-dates and suffer the teasing for it from all of my friends and family.) We have a difficult landlord in common and need coffee to discuss it.

He is reasonably handsome; tall, but with the same problems that most men of a similar age than mine has, namely a reclining hairline and an inclining tummy line. (And as I said not afraid to show it)

I know it is not a date and he knows it is not a date, but a man in my house! That in itself is….. scary, awesome, outlandish, wonderful…..?

After sharing notes about our landlord, our conversation turned to being single and you know, I once more realized, men experience it very similar than we as women do. They also want similar things to what we want. He chooses not to party every week, not to sleep around and approach things very carefully, not wanting to burn his fingers again. He also (would you believe this) went through a period of time when he decided not to go into any relationship but sort himself out, get to know himself better and figure out what is the hang-ups he brings to the equation. (Now that’s the kind of neighbor I can do with as most people start to look funny at me and ask the question when I am going to move forward and –yes you guessed it – date again.)

Maybe there are more people out there that want to make good calls, based on long term benefits and not short term satisfaction than I realized. If that is the case, all that I can say is: More power to you!

PS. About dating; I might just decide to start dating again this year, you never know, but watch this space!

One Response to “My year of celibacy: A love affair with myself (56)”

  1. Vic de Klerk says:

    Vasbyt, kyk mooi na jouself, (green grass grows where dry dessert ends..)

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